How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

This may well be a two-part reflection on Christmas in my small family as it is these recent years.  It depends on whether I decide that part 2, which will probably be a bit of a rant, is publishable to the public or better left in the pages of a private journal!  We shall see.

Anyway, it is now Saturday, December 28, and I can gaze out the deck doors at the pastoral Colorado scene of mountains (smaller ones as we face west, down valley a bit from the peaks of Vail), snow-covered pastures with cows and horses, and the pond that has been cleared by my eldest son for pick-up hockey games.  A bit to the left is the Eagle River that roars along in the spring but is frozen and quiet today.

    The house is elder son's with his wife and my two only grandsons.  It has been a lively three days, but this morning son 2 and I are left to our own devices--along with the two elderly animals.  Son 2 and the 14-year-old chocolate lab are out clearing the pond of last night's dusting of snow.  Elder son and daughter-in-law are at work, and grandsons are with their other grandparents who have a second home nearby.                This is the third Christmas in a row spent here.  That all became necessary once there were two grandsons and the expense and hassle of holiday travel became crazy.  Another of life's transitions as kids grow up and, so often, make their lives far from "home."

     The first year was the most fun, I suppose.  I had not yet been called to my parish, so I had Christmas Eve off.  We arrived in Vail in time for festivities in the Village and then the family service where the 3-year-old sang with the Sunday School, showed off his bare belly, and told me later, "Gramma Gloria, you can't sing that part!  It's only for BOYS!"  We also got to be part of the early morning opening of presents and seeing what Santa left in the stockings.      Last year and now, I had Christmas Eve services, of course.  Fortunately, none on Christmas morning so I could be off to the airport at 4ish (AM) to catch flights to Vail.  The timing is a result of serving a church 3+ hours from the major airport!  Son 2 comes from the city, usually non-stop. So, there have been various adventures with delays and cancellations.  This year was remarkably smooth.  Both of us arrived at the Eagle Vail airport by 1 PM and were picked up by elder son.  We have enjoyed meals together, the pick-up hockey games (me watching, now 5-year-old tearing up he ice with his uncle and neighbor kids), watching movies, and helping construct towers and castles as part of Christmas presents.  Oh, and refereeing disputes between the 5 and 2-year olds!

      It is lovely.  I am grateful to be here with both sons, grandsons, daughter-in-law.  It is the making of new holiday traditions that are vastly different and more variable than those I grew up with.  My rural hometown was complete with a large extended family.  At a distance of 70 miles, I was farthest away once I was on my own, so every Christmas was the same.  Off to grandma's on Christmas Eve, Christmas morning with parents and siblings, Christmas dinner at an aunt's with maybe 30 or so.

      Of course, there were changes in the configurations as the generations grew up and had families of their own, making the numbers unmanageable.  As the eldest grandchild in our side of the family, I do remember holidays with great-grandmothers, great aunts and uncles, and cousins--first, second, and first cousins once removed.  Those were such fun, especially the years that the great aunt and uncle hosted, with their huge house including an attic filled with interesting stuff and laces to hide!  In those days, we often rested after the giant dinner, adults playing cards, children with quiet games.  Some years we went caroling or "skitching" behind grandpa' scar before returning for another huge meal of leftover turkey or ham.

     The first crack came when my dad's only sister and her family decided to stay in their own home in St. Louis at Christmas.  Then my parents generation took over the hosting, and the extended family split in two--usually with short visits back and forth in the late afternoon.  After all, it was, at most, four or five blocks from one house to the other!

     Now that I think about it, I guess that for most of my adult Christmases, I have been a guest--first going back to the hometown. Now to Vail.  In the middle years, it was "mix and match"--Christmas Eve at home, particularly when we became involved in a church and sang in the choir--then, Christmas Day away.  Having a blended family added to the fun!  Now, we are small--my parents are gone, my siblings have complicated family gatherings themselves, so here we are.  I will never have the experiences of my mother and grandmothers, having a whole crew descend upon them each year!

     If there is something that I miss, I guess it is having the leisure to sit in front of a fire and lighted Christmas tree to absorb the season and ponder it's blessings.  For the third year, the lights and ornaments have remained in storage.  My hectic Advent and Christmas Eve schedule coupled with being away for the holiday itself make it seem silly to put up a tree.  I do decorate with electric candles in the windows, a front door wreath, and table top ornaments.  But, as for trees, I content myself to enjoy those of others.  And that is fine.  But it does make me think of others who are truly alone and rejoice in these rare moments with family I get to see only two or three times a year.  More changes are, no doubt, in store.  So, I shall treasure the gifts of now.